After going through the vetting process, you have decided that you would like to do a rope scene with someone. The next step is NOT to just pick up a rope and put it on them or allow them to put it on you. There are many things you both need to know in order to do so ethically and safely. You both need to:

• Agree on what activities will be permitted.
• Understand the risks of those activities.
• Figure out how you will know if something is going wrong.
• Plan for what you both will do if something does go wrong.
• Understand what you need to do for each other after the session (“aftercare”).

You Need a Plan

Yes, spontaneity can be fun and sexy, but it is not responsible to be looking for spontaneity with a brand-new partner, especially when there are as many risks to manage as there are with rope. Spontaneity is something that can come with time, experience, and trust with a specific partner. But when you begin playing with someone new, or with an unfamiliar activity, you need to revert to detailed negotiation until you both learn enough about each other to agree to introduce spontaneity.