General dating apps and sites might work, but it can be difficult figuring out if someone you are interested in might be into kink. More and more, people are just being up front with it, but that can be risky, so many include code phrases in their profiles.

These code phrases will change over time but some that are common right now are:

• Reference to movies or books that feature BDSM
• 50-shades
• The Secretary
• 9 1/2 Weeks
• The Duke of Burgundy
• Gor (or the author John Norman)
• Using the word “macrame” in a suggestive way
• Or just clearly and transparently using a kink or rope bondage term:
• “I’m a kinky fucker” is a pretty good clue…
• shibari, kinbaku, etc.
• Sometimes the use of terms from the poly (polyamorous) world can indicate an openness to kink:
• Ethical Non-Monogamy, ENM
• Compersion