Care of the mind is just as important as care of the body.

Triggers

• We usually use the word “trigger” to mean something bad, but it is more complex than that. Triggers can work in different ways for different people. They can be positive or negative. Some things that one person might find negative or angering, might make a different person feel more submissive. But talk about it first, start slow, and move forward with care.
• This may be more of a consideration if you engage in verbal humiliation or name calling in a scene, but actions can also be triggers.
• Common verbal triggers include negative comments on appearance, intelligence, competence (“you can’t even…”), and gendered language. For example: “You can call me a cock-hungry whore, that can be hot, but don’t EVER call me an airheaded slut.”
• If your partner is sensitive about being called names, you need to know and respect that. If they have a history of trauma or abuse and would like to use BDSM as a way of processing that past, very real, pain, you need to know that. If you are not comfortable with or capable of helping someone work through mental or emotional anguish in the context of BDSM, say so. If you are someone’s play partner, it is both impossible and unethical for you to provide them with mental healthcare. Kink should never be used as a replacement for mental health services.

Trauma

• “Given what we are planning, do you have any past trauma that might get triggered?”
• Some trauma survivors engage in kink as a form of therapy. For example, they might be reliving a specific event, but are doing so in an environment where they are in control and can stop it at any time. You need to know if this is the case. It will be very frightening or unsettling if a trauma reaction happens when you are not expecting it. But if you have discussed it first and agreed on how you should react, you can handle such a reaction with sensitivity, care, and grace should it occur.
• If you do not feel able to handle something like that if it were to occur, then change the plan to steer clear of any such issues.