Communication is mostly nonverbal. Your scene will go more smoothly if you can read your partner’s nonverbal cues. Try to get an idea of what your partner’s nonverbal communication might look like before becoming responsible for their physical safety. This may come with experience, and you can also just ask!

Tops, ask your bottom to show or describe to you how they might look when they are feeling good. Ask them what they will look like when they don’t feel good. If they don’t know, then for your first few scenes, keep a close watch. Try to learn what their nonverbal cues are for when they’re enjoying themselves, and when they are not. Then inform them so they have that knowledge for the future!

Paying attention to these signals will help you keep things at the right level so that your partner might never even need to use their safe words.