Privacy is Vitally Important

Depending on where you live, the prevailing culture there, and your particular lifestyle, you may feel free to be open about the fact that you like rope or kink. Or you may be very serious about keeping that side of yourself private.

Regardless of your personal views, never make assumptions about the relative privacy of others. This is their secret to keep.

No “Outing.” What Happens at Any Kink Event, Stays at that Kink Event

If you meet a person at a kink event and then later run into them at a work event or anywhere else, you do not know them until they introduce themselves. Such an encounter can be very jarring; worlds colliding. The best thing to do is to act as you normally would. If it would be awkward to avoid them, then don’t. Introduce yourself in a neutral way and do not make any assumptions about whether or not they want to acknowledge that you have met before: “Hi, my name’s . Good to meet you. I’m trying to remember, have we met before?” Let them decide how to proceed.

That said, sometimes it can be helpful to out yourself.

If you are engaged in kink, particularly if you become really into it, there may be times when other people need to know about it.

It can be helpful to be open about this interest to your doctor, therapist, chiropractor, etc. If you come out to them before you have an issue, they are less likely to be concerned if you later come to them for help with an injury or if they see something that might otherwise be concerning. If you have already told your doctor that you are into spanking, for example, they will better understand if they later see you with a bruised ass from a heavy session. They will probably still ask you about it. It is their job to make sure you feel safe and to offer help if you do not. But if you reply clearly and without embarrassment that this was the result of a consensual and very fun scene, that will hopefully be the end of it.

If you are concerned about having such a conversation with your doctor (perhaps they are the same doctor that sees your grandma, and you just can’t), you might find a different one using the Kink-Aware Professional List (KAP), published and maintained by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom:  Kink-Aware Professional List (KAP)