Here are a few selected terms used commonly in the scene. There are many others, but this should get you started.

BDSM

BDSM is a compound initialism combining B&D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and Submission), and S&M (Sadism and Masochism). While its exact origin is unclear, the common use of the term dates back to 1969. The terms “BDSM” and “kink” are often used interchangeably.

Regardless of its origin, BDSM is used as a catch-all phrase to include a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. Historical and artistic records show such activities dating back to approximately 3000 BC and they are assumed to date back to the start of humankind as a species.

BDSM is a variety of erotic practices involving power exchange, bondage, role-playing, and other interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community and/or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience.

Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to an ongoing lifestyle and is considered by some to be a distinct sexual identity/orientation.

Bondage

Bondage is consensually tying, binding, or restraining a partner (usually physically) for erotic, aesthetic, and/or somatosensory stimulation. Rope, cuffs, chain, tape, or many other types of restraints may be used for this purpose.

Bondage may be used as an end unto itself. The active partner can derive visual pleasure from seeing their partner tied up, and the restrained partner can derive tactile pleasure from the feeling of helplessness and immobility. A common reason for the active partner to tie up their partner is so both may gain pleasure from the restrained partner’s submission and the feeling of the temporary transfer of control and power.

It may also be used as a part of sex or in conjunction with other BDSM activities. It is common to have sexual activities as part of a bondage scene, but they do not have to be involved.

For sadomasochistic people, bondage is often used as a means to sadomasochistic ends, where the restrained partner is more accessible to other sadomasochistic activities.

Rope Bondage

An umbrella term for all styles of applying rope to human participants. It can be done for erotic appeal, visual enjoyment, physical restraint, or as a part of other plans.

Shibari

Also called “Japanese rope bondage,” shibari – the Japanese word for “to tie” – is a style of rope bondage generally characterized by being visually appealing as well as effective. While not technically the same thing, the term “shibari” is often used interchangeably with the general term “rope bondage.” Shibari is more about the attractive appearance of the rope itself or position of the person in rope, or both. It may or may not include elements of physical restraint.

A Scene

A scene is a mutually agreed upon encounter during which two or more people engage in kink/BDSM-related activities. The activities that will take place during a scene are pre-negotiated. They may or may not involve sexual activity. A scene is not over until any aftercare (p.###) has ended.

Activity that takes place during a scene may be referred to as “play.” A scene may also be referred to as a “session” to set a more professional tone, especially if it is conducted as part of a professional transaction, by a “Pro Dom” or “Pro Domme” (usually pronounced the same).

The Scene

The scene is distinctly different from “a scene.” It refers to the community of people who engage in kink/BDSM-related activities. It can refer to the community in a given geographical area, the events in that area or, more generally, to the larger population of kink-minded people as a whole.

Ex: “The rope scene around here tends to focus on Eastern style bondage. I only know two riggers who regularly use Western ties,” or, “I stepped away from the kink scene for a few years due to some things outside of my control. I’m excited to reconnect with my community!”

Types of Bondage

• Decorating a partner for sensual and/or artistic reasons.
• Binding body parts, such as arms and/or legs, together.
• Spreading out body parts, such as arms and/or legs, so they are unable to touch each other.
• Binding the restrained partner to an outside object, such as a bed, chair, or table.
• Suspending the restrained partner from an overhead hard point.
• Hindering and/or slowing down the movement of the restrained partner, such as with a hobble skirt or a corset.
• Wrapping the entire body of the restrained partner up, mummification.
• Binding the body in such a fashion as to cause pain for the purposes of S&M.