Make no mistake, consent violations can and do happen … that is the unfortunate reality of the world in which we live.

There are several different levels and how they are handled is usually determined by which level they fall into. (See “How to Respond to a Violation of Your Consent” below)

Categories of Consent Violations (levels in red are malicious):

1. Innocent – One/both/all involved didn’t know that the infraction would be an issue. This is closely related to accidental, but the person that took the action had no way of knowing and would not have been expected to know that the action was unwelcome.
2. Accidental – A simple mistake. People are not perfect and sometimes important details slip our minds or tools don’t behave as expected: perhaps they slip or break. Unfortunately, this can result in a violation of someone’s consent.
3. Misunderstanding – Perhaps certain terms were not clearly defined during negotiation. Example: “When I said I did not want to be touched below the waist, that included my stomach. That may not have been clear to you since I didn’t explicitly say that, but that is what ‘below the waist’ means to me.” This is a consent violation, but some responsibility falls on both parties here. The person being violated could have more clearly defined what they meant, and the violator could have asked them to specify what they meant.
4. Neglect – As a Top, NEVER leave a person alone while in bondage. They are unable to help themselves if something happens. Neglecting them is irresponsible. It is a safety violation at the very least and, depending on the circumstances, might be judged to be malicious.
5. Ignoring – If the Bottom reports an issue and the Top ignores it, that can quickly lead to injury. Especially with rope bondage where nerve compression can happen in a matter of seconds. Even worse is if the Bottom says to stop an activity — revokes consent — and the Top does not respond appropriately. What was an activity happening between consenting adults then becomes a case of legal assault* or wrongful imprisonment*. Never ignore your Bottom.
6. Sexual Assault* – Any sexual contact of any type without affirmative consent*.
7. Rape* – Any unwanted sexual penetration of any area, no matter how slight, by means of force or coercion. If someone is tied up and you have sex with them without their affirmative consent*, you are guilty of rape. Period.

* The actual legal definition of these terms varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, but the spirit is generally the same.