A BDSM scene can be an experience unlike any other. Both Top and bottom may experience incredible highs or intense catharsis. Serotonin and endorphins may flow heavily. You can literally experience an altered state of mind. The more intense the scene, the more this may be the case.

Regardless of how intense the scene, it is important for both the bottom and the Top to take care of each other and help bring each other back to their regular state of being. This is called “providing aftercare.” Reassure each other that the experience was a good one, that everything is okay, that they did well, that you care for them, etc. If you ignore this step, one or both of you may have emotional drop in reaction to the emotional state or to serotonin withdrawal. Some level of drop may happen regardless, but aftercare tends to help.

Aftercare can mean a wide range of different things. Each person will need different things.

One bottom may need to have a cool drink of water, a little snack, and their favorite fuzzy blanket, then want to immediately socialize with others at the party. Another may want to be left in a puddle on the floor for five minutes until they begin moving on their own, at which point they want their Top to help them up and snuggle them for a while.

One Top may need to have their bottom curl up beside them and lay their head on the Top’s leg in a gesture of reassurance and affection. Another might get everything they need by caring for the needs of the bottom.

Everyone needs different things. Figure out what you need and share that information.