Set up the Play Space

• Gather the gear, toys, and materials needed for the scene itself.
• Inspect the things you plan to use. Ensure they are in good condition and are clean.
• Gather safer sex supplies, if applicable.
• Be sure appropriate emergency gear, materials, or medication is within reach.
• Confirm that your phone has plenty of battery and a good signal and that you know the emergency services number for that area.
• Set up appropriate cleanup materials so that this is easy to manage when you are done.
• Set up a space and gather the items needed for aftercare. Doing this now makes for a smooth transition after the scene.

Check in Just Before the Scene

We are all human. Check in with yourself and with your partner(s) immediately before the scene.

• Do you really want to do this scene at this time?
• Do they? Make sure. Confirm.
• Don’t rely on negotiations held days, or even hours, earlier.
• Make it clear that you respect them and their needs more than any plans you made.

Physical Preparation

Have everyone take care of their physical needs before the scene:

• Hydrate.
• Eat normally – have something about an hour before.
• Use the restroom!
• Check in with yourself to confirm you are in the right headspace to scene.

If the scene is to have a D/s component, it can be helpful to give instructions to your partner beforehand, telling them how you want them to prepare.

Consider wearing clothes that enhance the feeling of the roles you both intend to play. Perhaps the submissive should be naked, perhaps in slutty or revealing clothing, perhaps in a corsets and heels, or a collar and harness.

This can apply to the Dominant as well. Perhaps you want a classic Fem-Dom look, or a tough look with heavy leather and big boots, or an urbane sophisticate whose suit hides all sorts of kinky secrets. Wear whatever will make you feel how you want to feel.

Mental Preparation

It can be helpful to have a preparation ritual to get both of you in the right headspace. Perhaps some outfit, clothes, uniform or maybe you do it at a particular time, maybe you take a bath, read your favorite BDSM book, polish your floggers, watch some inspiring porn, take a look at the this site and the tie you plan, whatever it is that puts you in the right mood.